Updated: Oct 15, 2019
You want a different outcome, you need to do something different. I repeated this like a mantra as I marched myself right back into that high tech library, sat myself down in the midst of high schoolers and got myself to work. Sometimes change may seem or feel like the last thing we want or need to do, in fact it feels that way 90% of the time. If we listen to the resistance, we allow our ego to take us straight back to our unhealthy/unproductive patterns and habits. All the while it’s telling us why that makes more sense. Nah ah ego, not this time! I don’t care if all I drum out are semi-developed ideas and half written pages, because what I do know is this - my current tactics have gotten me only so far before it plateaued. I have been living on that empty plateau for the past few months and let me tell you - it sucks. Developing new habits and implementing new strategies - however simple - seem to be met with internal resistance once the novelty and excitement of potential fades away in the face of real action.
There are so many articles on this subject it’s ridiculous. So many steps, suggestions and tools to help you get on track, put those thoughts into action and getting organized. I cannot count how many planners, journals, applications and TED talks I have used in order to get this going. And yes they are definitely good tools, healthy doses of wisdom and practicality, and let us not forget the aesthetically pleasing look and feel of fresh stationary. In all the years I have had my business and all the years I have been trying to meet some sweet ideal of success and structure, there are 3 things that I have learned that help me the most. While all the tools and tips are wonderful, it’s the internal resistance, almost emotionally debilitating battle that keeps us stuck. So here you go:
1. Stop, just STOP comparing yourself.
Seriously. Screw the “supposed to’s,” “should be” and “have to’s.” It will tackle you every single time and make all efforts seem or feel futile. Honestly if those statements had a face, I’d punch it. Comparisons make you feel like shit. Pardon my french but there it is. They make you feel small, victimized, unworthy and insecure. And I don’t care how many planners, seminars, or gym memberships you buy, they are worthless if your emotional/mental health is at stake.
Everyone’s journey is as unique, beautiful, and uncomparable as they are. Working with thousands of people for a decade as a psychic and a healer, This I can tell you with the most absolute conviction: Envy No One. It doesn’t matter how perfect they may look, seem or how ideal their life appears on media. Everyone has issues, pain, problems and deep secrets. Love yourself, truly understand and know that nothing and no one is perfect, and that with every effort and self-loving action you perform, you’re moving forward. You my love, with all your gifts and flaws are needed and loved just as your are. Repeat this to yourself and move to #2.
2. Just Do It.
No I am not talking about Nike, but they have a very good point. Literally drag yourself up, put one foot in front of the other, wipe your tears of resistance and just do it. Did you think I was skipping with anticipated joy to the library today? No, I just knew that working at home was distracting, renting an office is super expensive and working outside right now would be like working on the face of the sun. So here I was, backpack, purse in hand, walking out of the library since there were no more private rooms, telling myself, “oh well, you tried.” It was bull, and I knew it, so I stopped in my tracks and sat under a tree. I told myself, I could go home and do the same old thing I’ve been doing and getting the same results (not ideal) OR I could do something different. I said a quick prayer for guidance, and I heard, “If you want something different, you have to do something different.” I repeated this to myself all the way to a table I found situated between groups of studying teens, and sat myself down.
You aren’t always going to feel ready, you aren’t always going to be in the mood or excited or enthused. BUT! That doesn’t mean you can’t. On those days you just have to DO, there is literally no tip or tool for this. Sheer will must be cultivated, like a muscle, your subconscious patterning must be rewired slowly, deliberately and with repetition. While the above was my mantra, you can create your own. Allow your ego mind to rant and rave but place your body on autopilot, default setting “Just Do It.”
3. Divine Intervention.
Hear me out on this one, seriously. Angels are non-denominational, you can be atheist it truly doesn’t matter, and each one of us as a complete group of them who are literally dedicated to our safety, well-being and happiness. Ask for Help, genuinely, whether it’s guidance, feeling loved and supported or finding answers, they jump on it before the words leave your lips. In that moment when I asked for guidance today I heard those words, and they weren’t just any words - they were the Right Words For Me. They know me so well and in that moment it fueled me, I stood up with determination and marched back in, sandals slapping the concrete with a fierceness that said “Ego take a damn seat because i'm about to change it up.” I sat down, private room be damned and got to work. The Divine, in whichever form you perceive it is incredible, and helps me with everything from finding parking spaces to healing deep pain. Ask. For Help. Ask for motivation, guidance, or even just energy or a healthy relationship network. The love they have for us is unconditional and truly hard to comprehend. Yet it is there nonetheless and always ready for us. Seriously try it out, test it, you don’t have to take my word for it. And when it does work, share it with me.
It isn’t about your production being on point, hitting perfection or becoming an ideal. It’s about changing the game, changing the energy and in doing so telling the Universe you’re ready and willing for different, more, better, healthier, happier. I love you guys and I understand the experience of being human. So do a tango with life, five steps forward, two steps back, and just do your best to love yourself through it all and not berate the journey. What makes a dance fun if not for the spins, dips and sexy body rolls? So don’t compare, just do it and ask for help, once you get this going, all those planners, books and TED talks are going to really take off and so will you.